Work Life Balance is Bullshit

I hate the idea of work-life balance.

It’s bullshit.

When you try to find the perfect balance something must break.

What if instead of trying to find a perfect balance we admit that we need to rather become better at balancing?

What if the key to finding a balanced life is admitting that there is no perfect balance?

Balance: A state of equilibrium or parity characterized by cancellation of all forces by equal opposing forces.

Balance implies equilibrium. A perfect point at which everything will work out. Balance. But how do we know when we’re perfectly in balance? How do we know what to add more of or remove? When will we have reached that perfect equilibrium? How do we factor in the variables that are changing in the world around us?

Seeking balance is a dangerous tightrope to walk without a net below you.

Let’s use the seesaw as the representation for the idea of work/life balance. You have work and you have life and you must find the perfect balance between the two.

Sometimes life receives most of your attention and then your work suffers. Sometimes work gets most of your attention and then life suffers. Even labelling these things as "life" and "work" troubles me.

There is more than life and work. Each one has subcategories and verticals that need our attention. When we seek perfect equilibrium on one end, the other end suffers. We’re missing out on something over here. We're underperforming over there. This person has it all together when we don't. It’s brutal and never-ending.

We seesaw between happiness and despair. Between success and failure. Between doing too much or too little. It’s never enough. We’re always too far behind or too far ahead.

Instead of seeking equilibrium, we should rather focus on balancing and prioritising.

The problem with work/life balance is that it’s an equation with only two variables. That’s not how life works. Life is not a seesaw.

Life is actually one giant plate-balancing act.

First, we must choose which plates matter to us. Then we can put them in the air, spin them around for a bit and give them our attention. When the plate that has our attention (our priority) is spinning successfully we can focus on a new plate. When the new plate is spinning in the air we can either turn our attention back to the first plate or spin up another one.

This is life; we choose our priorities and we give them a spin.

We either choose too many priorities and the plates will fall, or we select fewer priorities and our attention can keep them in the air. Then carefully, slowly and patiently we choose another priority to spin up and keep in the air.

Stop looking for balance. Become brilliant at balancing and ruthlessly prioritising your attention.

Balance is a zero-sum equation. Something has to lose if everything isn’t in perfect equilibrium. Life is not perfect, there is no equilibrium and wishing it so won’t help you find balance.

I want to hear what you think about balance in your own life. Comment below and tell me your views. Forward this newsletter to someone struggling with the idea of work/life balance. Help them become better at balancing.

You Are Not OPRAH

There is so much information out there to consume about great people. Documentaries, biographies, TV series, Twitter accounts, Instagram brags, YouTube shows, news articles and on and on and on. Greatness is everywhere and everyone aspires to be the next greatest in a long line of greatness.

Let me be the first to tell you that watching a Michael Jordan documentary doesn’t make you Michael Jordan. Reading the Steve Jobs biography doesn’t make you Steve Jobs. Watching Oprah every day doesn’t make you a world-class interviewer and media mogul.

Nine years ago when I first read Walter Isaacson’s book about Steve Jobs I immediately believed that being like Jobs was the only way to be a leader. I started to act as he did. I began treating people the way that he did. But here’s the thing - I am not Steve Jobs. Not even close. All I did was piss people off by being an asshole.

I’m not Steve Jobs and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever achieve what he achieved in his life. I am not Oprah Winfrey and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever achieve what she has achieved in her life.

I’m comfortable now to admit this but it’s hard in your early 20’s to think that you aren’t going to be great. I have a Greek mother who constantly instilled in me a sense of greatness and I am eternally grateful for that. But it’s also a lot of pressure to believe that you deserve to be great.

Nobody deserves greatness.

Don’t feel the pressure. Don’t try to be somebody else. Don’t try to live their lives and take the same path they did.

Or, feel the pressure and do the work for yourself. Find your own path. Carve out your own chunk of greatness.

We live in a world of misalignment. We see the end results of greatness, the greatness itself. You see Apple launching products that shape the future and define the present. You see Oprah interviewing the most incredible people in the world and growing her media empire. You see Jordan winning championship after championship but you never see (or choose not to see) the work that goes into their success. The sacrifices they make to change the world. The depression, the elation, the turmoil, the loss, the pain and everything in between.

You are not Oprah. You are not Jordan. You are not Jobs. Nor am I.

You are whoever you are and whether you like it or not, that has to be enough. Jobs, Jordan, Oprah and their equals all put the work in for many, many decades to gain the kind of success we aspire to when we see them online or read about their fame and wealth. None of it comes easy. Nobody owes us anything. Nobody handed the greatest people their greatness.

Expectation is the thief of joy and if you spend your life believing that you should be as rich as Warren Buffet, as talented as Lupita Nyong'o, as smart as Oprah or as successful as Michael Jordan then you’re only going to live a life of disappointment. Their lives are extraordinary and the exception.

We all have the ability to live a great life but perhaps expectation is killing our joy.

How To Work From Anywhere

Running a retail business is a lot trickier than I was led to believe early on. Who'd have thought?! Well, to be fair, initially I thought that I was running an ecommerce business and now Nic Harry is a full-on multichannel affair. That makes it complicated and intricate for me as the founder. I have multiple stores to visit, a warehouse, meetings to have and my team of specialists to engage with. That's all without even touching customer service online, ecommerce management and the general daily operations of running a business.The most complicated part for me is that my team is never in one place at the same time, ever. That means that I'm on the go and engaging with them all at various points and places throughout the day.This makes mobile and remote work essential to my job.Let's take a short diversion here: In the past I have been very vocally anti-phablets. If you're wondering what a "phablet" is, it's a phone that's big enough to be mistaken for a tablet. I've mocked friends for using the iPhone 6+ (although I was probably more mocking them for using an iPhone in general, to be fair). Recently I was asked to use the Huawei Mate 8 device. It is massive. It's as big as the iPhone 6+ physical and they managed to fit a bigger screen into the device. I was very nervous using this device to begin with. But I have to say that it has turned out to be the best device I've used in the past few years.Now, back to business.

The Right Tools

There are some key things you must have to run a business on the move. From the start you need to set things up using tools that operate effectively on mobile devices. Google Apps for Business is the perfect tool across the board for this.Nic Harry uses for everything: email, documents, word processing and project management as well as a central resource for our team to find things they're looking for. Best of all, it's fully mobile optimised. Well worth the money.We also use Slack for all communication and short messages that don't require paragraph form emails (I hate emails longer than 5 sentences).Very practically it's important to all have data on your device and ensure that you have a phone that can access the 4G networks. Slow or no Internet is the end of your work day.

Practical Examples

I took the decision to spend money on data so that I wasn't tied to wifi networks when I absolutely have to do something on my mobile phone.Recently I was caught between stores and meetings and had forgotten about a Skype call with my investors that I had to be on. There's no real need to find a wifi network or an office when you can open up Skype on your device and make the call. I use my headset effectively too so that I can view the documents we're discussing while still on the call. With the Mate 8's huge screen I didn't struggle with this at all.For all of our stores we use Vend point of sale. They have fantastic reports that I use frequently throughout the day to keep my team of retail specialists engaged with our figures and performance. Opening up the reports, screengrabbing and sharing on slack is simple and there isn't really a need for a laptop or computer that's larger than the one in my pocket.The major key to working from anywhere is to be prepared. Have a mobile device that has tethering if you need to connect your computer, have data on your device and make sure that you are using the right tools for your needs. 

Focus and explore

I haven't had formal employment for about 4 months now and I've learned some interesting things. The main thing that I've discovered about myself is that I actually hate being distracted and love to work with extreme focus for short bursts.Someone recently told me that the best thing to happen to my career is not having a job. I wholeheartedly agree but with one major caveat; Focus is absolutely imperative when you have a lot of options.I have been approached to start companies, join companies, speak here and there, and consult to many brands, businesses and agencies. The most difficult part is to successfully explore the various opportunities in front of me without offending or leading anyone on and then focusing in on the most interesting, fun and fruitful of those.I've had to say no to some incredibly gifted people whom I respect and I've taken on some things that in hindsight I wish I hadn't. I've also had to make some very tough decisions and statements for partners and clients about various products they are pitching and proposing to me.Then there's NicSocks, my own little ecommerce startup. This is probably the most difficult thing to put on the back burner or shove aside. But I'm trying hard to stay focused on specific goals that have been set with regard to my side projects: When they become profitable enough to hire people, I will. Until then, it's all me.Here are some tips to help with focus when you're consulting and working on multiple projects:

1. Manage your time effectively with the tools available - I use Fantastical for iPhone and Desktop with Google Calendar and reminders.
2. Manage expectations - Don't lead people on. Be blunt, investigate and commit (or move one).
3. Be VERY picky. Don't say yes to everything.
4. Book time in your meeting schedule for exercise. Actually book a meeting with yourself for that run you've been meaning to go on.
5. Don't look for things to do, look for things to say no to and actually say "no".
6. If you're working on one project, set time and only work on that project.
7. DO NOT MULTITASK. EVER.

On the whole I am absolutely loving the nature of consulting and working with many smart people on a few brilliant projects. You should try it.

Starting a new job is always a bit trick...

Starting a new job is always a bit tricky. You need to balance the people you work with, the new projects, the people you outsource, the scope of things, the context of things, the history and the progress as well as the potential and your sanity.That's what I have been doing for the past 3 weeks. I have willingly chosen to drop off the radar. Sometimes it's nice to be off of a radar. Sometimes it's quite pleasant to not have people know what you did, when you did and who you did it for. Sometimes it's nice not to be in touch and updating all the time.

Life is a strange and worthy adversary

Don't ever say never.When I was 18 I openly stated that I would never live in the area that I grew up in (lived there for over 20 years with my family). I also swore that I would never drive the same road to work that I had driven countless times to school.I eat my words writing this post. As of today I live in the area that I grew up in (one street down from the exact house). And I work within walking distance of my school.Life is a strange and worthy adversary.

My first Mail & Guardian Online project: Sports Leader

I've been at Mail & Guardian Online now for just over two weeks. I'd love to say that the first two week have been quiet, tame and took the form of an introduction to the business, it hasn't. Not conventionally at least.On my first day working with Matt and Vince I was thrown in to the deep end and tasked with setting up Sports Leader. At that point I didn't know my arse from my elbow let alone how to call up top sports personalities, intellectuals and commentators and ask them to join a platform that hadn't even launched yet. It was tough. I got bat. The success rate is very low on cold calling the sporting elite let me tell you.I made many phone calls and sent out many emails. Eventually it started to pay off. I managed to get hold of some fantastic sports people and through the help of Mr Trapido we have some fantastic rugby names on the site. There are more to come, many of whom you will know, recognise and want to hear from but more on that in another post. We have tried to be as diverse as possible when it comes to the sports that are represented on Sports Leader, the big ones obviously being Soccer (Football), Rugby and Cricket. However we are proud to say that we have many alternative and extreme sports appearing on Sports Leader.Within two weeks (or just under) we managed to sign up close on 30 sporting personalities and fans.Speaking of fans I feel I need to mention that there are some fans contributing to Sports Leader. This was a very calculated move on our behalf. No one owns sports, not even the sports people and no one can ever claim to. The people who have the strongest opinions and often suffer and celebrate more than their teams are the fans. How can you have a sporting platform without having the fans on board? You can't and we don't. What we have done is create an interesting juxtaposition of fanatical opinion from armchair commentators and practical insight from industry players and professionals, an important balance when it comes to sport.

So with this blog post I mark the completion of my first project at Mail & Guardian Online.

A new challenge at Mail&Guardian

Today is my last day working at Financial Mail and I can now announce that I am starting a new job at M&G Online on the 19th of May.My official job title is business manager: mobile and recruitment. But I am sure that more regarding my actual day to day activities will come out as soon as I move in and get involved in the team.Working with Matt and Vince is definitely going to be one of the great things about my new position. The job is innovative and in a market that is about to burst and is still fairly unconquered in the media sphere.Obviously moving in to a new market and media house is a big leap for me and one that I am cautiously approaching (with some level of excitement). There are some nerves which should be expected but overall I can't wait to sink my teeth in to the challenge.Financial Mail was a phenomenal place to work and to gain some extremely valuable knowledge and experience. The people were sterling and I learned more than I thought I could in a year. But for my career, my brand and the moves I'm trying to make in the industry this is definitely the right move for me at the perfect time.Things are hotting up in SA, the market is about to explode and I am itching to bury myself in it.

Six career limiting moves you could make online

Career limiting moves are, basically, moves that could put you in a very awkward position at work. These Career Limiting Moves (CLM) could mean the end of your job, a dead-end in your job, a stagnation of growth, embarrassment with colleagues or senior management among many other potential problems.Online makes it all the more simple to incur a CLM. Before you'd need to go to a club, do something stupid and risky, have someone from work see you with their own eyes, have that person bring it up at work and then on top of all of that, have your boss actually take their word over yours.Today it's much simpler to look like a fool and limit your career.Here are ten potential CLMs that you might be making right now.1. Updating your statusFacebook should actually be given more than one point. Facebook videos, photos, friends, walls, tagging, status updates and much, much more can all affect your colleagues opinion of you. Going out, getting drunk, partying, bunking work and recording all of this on Facebook is silly.Updating your status telling the world that you are having coffee away from work when you told work that you were sick is a mistake. Don't make it.2. Secret office romancesSome companies don't necessarily condone office relationships. So don't go and put that sort of information on your Facebook page, blog or pictures on any other online profile that you have. Think about it, choose love, job or privacy. Simply put be discreet.3. Recording your life one shot at a timePhotos are amazing but keep in mind they can be proof. The next time you add photos to your Flickr account remember that you're not the only one who can see them, everyone else can. That is, unless you set the photo's status to private. I suggest you do that with photos that might appear to be questionable. You know your company. Are they liberal, conservative, party animals or free thinkers? If they are extreme-conservatives take down that photo of you dressed up like Marilyn Monroe.4. Speak your mind but be smartEveryone who reads this blog knows that I have a big mouth and firm opinions but I know that I can blog about them because my company is fairly liberal. Some might not be. So think through your blog posts. Don't simply blog the first thing that comes to mind. Think about the effects of your posts, I definitely consider most of the ramifications of every post that I write these days. I've learned my lesson, lawsuits and getting fired are not fun no matter what you might think.5. Bad mouthing peopleBeing opinionated and being arrogant and foolish are very different approaches that have different outcomes.Opinionated people tend to not to be frowned upon. They tend to be taken notice of and you could benefit from this greatly. If you are nervous at the office and have strong opinions on your blog about people, politicians and situations it might pay dividends for you at work. However if you are arrogant and aimlessly, recklessly target individuals on your blog or another platform prepare for a firefight.6. Bad SpellingI kan like to make for sure that spalling is okai somtimes.But let's be honest this blog isn't perfect when it comes to grammar and spelling. I am well aware of this and I've been lucky that my dearest readers often check up on me and point out the errs of my ways!You need to be very careful because some people are very picky about language. It's an integral part of many, many jobs. Remember, 'i' before 'e' except after 'c'...or something like that.photo credit: massdistraction

Blogging is work now

In fact, it's been a long year so far and it's only February. I hate this feeling.But things are coming right, work doesn't suck, people are settling down and becoming easier to work with at the moment, which is great. People are gathering focus. Blogging is going well (not on here) in general although if I thought that running two blogs was tough work, three is incomprehensible. I work late, really late, blog every night and on weekends and am constantly looking for now content on three different levels.But however you look at it, I have little to bitch about, so I wont bitch.No, wait, I lie, I can't not bitch. I'm tired. Was at work today before 7am. That is really early for me. Maybe not for everyone, but for me it. I feel like it's early for me because I am always working lately.Initially I really loved blogging - I still do - but now it has become work, a job, a mechanism to express opinion, earn revenue and generate hype. This is work in a nutshell. So I work a full-time job (roughly 10 hours a day) and then go home and work more. Managing three blogs is tough work, but at least I love it!Take it from me, if you are thinking about filling your empty plate, think twice before you over fill it.

Working overtime

It's really tough to do alot of things. Why? Because there are only so many hours in the day and there are only so many things you are allowed to do at work!Things go on and time gets made use of in the end.

Rough times

I'm Having a bad week. Everything seems to be beyond my control, nothing is really within my grasp and I feel properly bleak about things.

Things I've learnt in the past two weeks

Being sick over the past while I've learned a few things that I think are worth sharing:1. I am not indispensable - so take more time for myself.2. The more you blog the more people will read.3. If you blog too much people get irritated and stop reading.4. Idle hands end up with threats of legal action.5. Only start something when you know you can finish it.6. The high ground is not always the dry ground.7. Giving your employees more responsibility:I left work and my colleague was lumped with a load of my work. I did work from home but he was pushed to work on things that were outside of his job description. This has seemingly provided him with some insight in to my job and me with some insight in to his. He now works ten times harder and takes pride in knowing that he can do my job if he needs to and know that I can rely on him to do more important things for me.8. Listen to your mates, sometimes they have a pearl of wisdom even if they are swines. I really think that the things I have listed above are important if you take note of them. If you don't think about them it might seem that they are irrelevant and don't apply to you, but I suggest you pick one and try it. Some are easier to implement than others so maybe start with something that is less taxing on your time.Maybe try blogging a bit more. Take Saturdays and Sundays and write 5 blog post over these two days. Then set their timestamps and post them one a day throughout the week. This way if you want to blog more as topical issues come up you will be showing a minimum of one post a day and a maximum of however many posts you can manage in the week.

Time off work

Humans are strange. Whether we are brilliant at what we do or not we all like to feel indispensable. I like to feel that way and in fact I thought that I was indispensable in every aspect of my life.This feeling keeps me going, it keeps me driven and alive and I am insistent that no one can do what I do they way that I do it. But then you get ill (as I am) and you are forced to lie down at home with your email from work as your only tool. It is in this state of incapacitated illness that I have realised that no one is indispensable. Absolutely no one. There are many people who can do my job even though they might be unhappy at the prospect of doing my job, they still do it.My point is this: Take time off when you want to because life is not about becoming indispensable.Becoming indispensable is impossible and that is reality. Everyone is replaceable in any job even the president, hell, especially the president should be, can be and is replaceable. I also think that it is necessary for companies to occasionally remind their employees that they need to perform consistently well because if they don't there is someone else who can do the same job for less pay.

One Of Those Mornings...

...when you wake up and you've slept through your alarm by just enough time to warrant not eating breakfast. When you get in your car and realise your almost out of petrol. When you get to the first petrol station and it is full (now you are running late). When you get to the next petrol station and it is on a go slow. When you need to clean your windscreens, check the water and oil, fill up and there is only one gent who seems to not hear your requests for service. When the full tank seems to take an age to take...in...that...last...drop.When you leave the petrol station and the robot stops working. When you try to get on the highway there is a big, fat, ugly BMW X-whatever pushing in to your lane after sitting for 20 minutes and waiting your turn. When you get on the highway it rolls smoothly, up until your turn off. When you take the turn off you find roadworks.When you make the decision to go lane-hopping instead of trusting your choice of lane. When every lane you hop in to seems to slow down or miraculously contain a massive truck almost reversing down Corlette Drive.When you get in to your parkade at work, there are no parking because you are late.When you eventually get to work in such a tizz because you think that everyone will be waiting for you tapping their watches in disdain and there is almost no one there yet.I love flexihours. I love mornings and I love the media industry.

Working From Home

It's hard to work from home. There are distractions all over and reasons not to work keep popping up. Is it wrong to watch a movie when you should be working? Is it? I think it is but sometimes I just can't help myself.I overcame the early mornings (I am now awake at about 7:30am every morning) and have overcome the breakfast issues (I now eat breakfast). The next hill to climb is gym.I think the best alternative is to get offices. WiredWorks is going to need offices, soon. I think that it is important, not the most important, part of a new company, offices. The corporate identity and brand that offices offer are invaluable. In spite of being an online media company I think that real world organisations like to see some sort of professionalism in small to medium size enterprises and start up companies. Offices, in my opinion are a helpful way to create this identity.There are others ways to achieve this of course, but I think that for me right now, I need to get out of the house.[techtags: corporate identity, startups, branding, marketing, image]

Wired Update

This post serves as an update and apology: You know it's busy when your most recent posts are from del.icio.us.So here goes:Digspot is launching soon. It is up and it is active. South Africa's soon to be student social network #1 is making its way through campuses around SA as of May 2007. I am in the process of organising a massive marketing spree nation wide. This alone is eating my time. Would love to have some feedback if anyone has time to join and try out the Digspot network!Company update: I am in the process of formalizing my new company here is JHB South Africa with Courts. This is a laborious process that is time sapping and energy destroying. Registering a CC, finding clients (I have just confirmed the first of hopefully many to come), getting advertisers on board, finishing website development on many, many sites and blogs and managing my personal blog and SA Rocks. Killer time destroyer. Also designing the site/blog for the company is time consuming as I am using it as a platform to experiment with Wordpress and its capabilities as well as how I can manage myself with regard to design.I still have a girlfriend (this is a job on its own). Having an understanding GF is a very NB NB part of being an entrepreneur. Without said supportive GF I would be in deep trouble. She is lovely and she is still around (heaven knows why).SA Rocks is cruising along swimmingly. The contributors to the site do a sterling job and the support has been incredible.My design skills and programming are coming along slowly but nicely (any assistance welcome and encouraged here).I have just started contributing to the University of Kwazulu Natal's media blog. So far (one post down) it is proving to be thought provoking and challenging.I am also trying to consolidate a plan of action in terms of what sites/blogs to drop, produce, promote, develop and design. This is a tough process with many new ideas coming up and presenting themselves in all genres.RSS feeds have become the bane of my existence, I can't keep up with all of you bloggers blogging. So much interesting stuff to get through, so little time.Finally I am still trying to remain a human being in touch with the real world and real people. This involves a bit of a social life on the weekends, catching up on my TV and some movies as well as meeting up with bloggers and media people in the real world over a real meal.Phew. That's kinda it for now I think.

Too Much _____, Too Little _____

Fill in the blanks. For me on this lovely Monday it is: Too Much Work, Too Little Time.What would you fill in?

Long Weekend Work

Most people crave long weekends. Most people think of it as a bit of respite. But then there are the others. The people who reckon that they have worked so hard during the last few months/weeks that they deserve to go out every night of the long weekend and recover.I have been a combination of the two above. I think I deserve some rest, I do. But then my mates will phone me, we'll make plans that turn in to more plans that get you drunk and end up with you jamming at 4am at some club somewhere with someone. What a mission. Then Monday comes round again and you are trying to recover from the long weekend as well as the week prior to that when you were working.Sometimes being sociable feels like a job too.

Focus, Prioritise and Streamline

Right now I feel like my life consists of none of the above things. I have ducks, plenty of them, but none of them are walking a nice neat row. I need to sit down, prioritize and streamline my business endeavors. This might take some time, but it is something that must be done.I also feel the need to minimize the effect of negativity in my life. There are some things that happen that need to happen and somethings that happen that don't need to. The latter needs to be minimized and ultimately extinguished completely!At the moment I am one person dealing with multiple business opportunities and offers as an individual, companies need to be registered, bank accounts opened and business deals closed. Partnerships need to be formed and consolidated. All of this needs to be a part of a great transformation in my life currently.Lets hope. Watch this space, streamlining coming soon!