Work Life Balance is Bullshit
I hate the idea of work-life balance.
It’s bullshit.
When you try to find the perfect balance something must break.
What if instead of trying to find a perfect balance we admit that we need to rather become better at balancing?
What if the key to finding a balanced life is admitting that there is no perfect balance?
Balance: A state of equilibrium or parity characterized by cancellation of all forces by equal opposing forces.
Balance implies equilibrium. A perfect point at which everything will work out. Balance. But how do we know when we’re perfectly in balance? How do we know what to add more of or remove? When will we have reached that perfect equilibrium? How do we factor in the variables that are changing in the world around us?
Seeking balance is a dangerous tightrope to walk without a net below you.
Let’s use the seesaw as the representation for the idea of work/life balance. You have work and you have life and you must find the perfect balance between the two.
Sometimes life receives most of your attention and then your work suffers. Sometimes work gets most of your attention and then life suffers. Even labelling these things as "life" and "work" troubles me.
There is more than life and work. Each one has subcategories and verticals that need our attention. When we seek perfect equilibrium on one end, the other end suffers. We’re missing out on something over here. We're underperforming over there. This person has it all together when we don't. It’s brutal and never-ending.
We seesaw between happiness and despair. Between success and failure. Between doing too much or too little. It’s never enough. We’re always too far behind or too far ahead.
Instead of seeking equilibrium, we should rather focus on balancing and prioritising.
The problem with work/life balance is that it’s an equation with only two variables. That’s not how life works. Life is not a seesaw.
Life is actually one giant plate-balancing act.
First, we must choose which plates matter to us. Then we can put them in the air, spin them around for a bit and give them our attention. When the plate that has our attention (our priority) is spinning successfully we can focus on a new plate. When the new plate is spinning in the air we can either turn our attention back to the first plate or spin up another one.
This is life; we choose our priorities and we give them a spin.
We either choose too many priorities and the plates will fall, or we select fewer priorities and our attention can keep them in the air. Then carefully, slowly and patiently we choose another priority to spin up and keep in the air.
Stop looking for balance. Become brilliant at balancing and ruthlessly prioritising your attention.
Balance is a zero-sum equation. Something has to lose if everything isn’t in perfect equilibrium. Life is not perfect, there is no equilibrium and wishing it so won’t help you find balance.
I want to hear what you think about balance in your own life. Comment below and tell me your views. Forward this newsletter to someone struggling with the idea of work/life balance. Help them become better at balancing.
