Nic’s blog
I write about building businesses, failing and building a life, not a legacy.
I'm late so fuck you
This morning I really did try to do a nice thing in traffic. I was over road rage and had come to terms with the extensive time spent in traffic. I was chilling.Going up towards Sandton I saw a car struggling to cross the the road and get in to my lane in front of me. So I see the robot (traffic light) up ahead is red. I stop and flash him to cross over.The little red mini (if you know this story then I'm talking about you Mr Red Mini) behind me, with his toddler in a car seat next to him starts hooting at me. And carries on hooting at me.The robot is STILL red so we are losing no time there is nowhere to go and no harm is being done. But Mr Red Mini is still fucking hooting at me.Eventually the car crosses the road thanks to me being nice (I probably saved him 10 minutes on his trip - good deed done). But as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished. And punished I was. The moron behind me continued to hoot. So the robot turned green, I pulled up my handbreak and calmly asked him what the issue was. He started swearing at me as if I had ran him off the road. He told me he was late and that I was being a wanker. I simply tried to do something nice in the traffic and I got a big "FUCK YOU" back at me.I think I even mentioned that I was trying to do something nice and he told me not to do nice things in the traffic. Give me a break you idiot.I really need to say that this sort of behaviour pisses me off for two simple reasons.1. This man's child was next to him, balling his eyes out because his father is an idiot and swearing and being aggressive. That's traumatic for a child. What if I was an aggressive steroid bunny and got out of my car and smashed Mr Red Mini in the face. What would his child have done then?And 2. Do Not make your being late me problem. Because if you were an organised human being like myself you wouldn't need to swear at nice people like me in the traffic.Dick.
Six degrees of frustration
I like to cause kak on the roads. I like to make people know that they have erred. I like to be the guy that jumps in front of you if you jump a red robot. I did this yesterday; some guy jumped the robot (strike one) nice and slowly on his cellphone (strike two). So I quickly shot in to first gear and popped in front of him in the middle of the road. Instead of reclining in his chair in shame he rolled down his window, stopped talking on his cellphone and launched at me with profanities like I haven't heard since my days at Uni (strike three).Like any dignified man would, I yelled back throwing equally horrid rubbish from my mouth at this man. We yelled for about 30 seconds and satisfied I drove off.I think that it took about 2 minutes for me to hit panic stations. I immediately spoke to myself:Nic: What the F*ck did you just do?Self: You just ruined a couple of business opportunities.Nic: What the hell are you talking about?Self: Well, what if you go in to your meetings next week and this guy is sitting there?Nic: Then he gets the last laugh and I get screwed.Self: Correctamundo my man!My self had won. Have you ever wondered how many people you know in Sandton, Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa, Africa, The World? It's a lot. In fact I think that you might be astounded that the number is a helluva lot more than you might think. I have blogged about Six Degrees of Separation before, but this is different, this is more of a fated coincidence designed to teach you a karmic slap-in-the-face-lesson. This is more worrisome in my mind.I like to cause kak on the roads (have I said that already?) and I think that one of these days the kak is going to end up on my head. Think about it and save yourself the embarrassment, simply choose not to become angry. It is a choice, make it.
Early to bed, Early to.. go %$#^ yourself
I am usually not awake and driving before 8:30am. There is a good reason for this. It is not because I am lazy, I promise you I am not. It is not cause I like to snuggle in my bed for an extra hour and it is not because I don't have a job. It is simply because I hate traffic with a passion. To be honest, I can even deal with the traffic. It's the freakin' morons that drive their cars in the traffic that grate my goat (yes, I own a goat now).Why is it that people feel that it is acceptable to drive like blind retarded pigs because they are on their way to work? Drive like regular folk, on a regular schedule in a regular car on a regular road. The fact that you and 4 million other people are on their way to work does not make your irrational and idiotic driving any more acceptable.So do everyone a favour; slow down and keep your head screwed on to your shoulders facing forward. Thanks.
BMW drivers - the worst on the road
Hoping to have an enjoyable evening out with Jen tonight I drove to pick her up from her house. However no drive in Sandton is complete without some moronic BMW driver thinking he owns the road and drives a Ferrari.Let me tell all of you BMW drivers something; you are not special. You drive one of millions upon millions (scott,maybe you can help out on numbers here) of BMW's out there, there are millions upon millions of other people that drive your exact model. Thus, therefore and hence, you are not special. Do not drive like you own the road, do not drive like your irritating blue lights are cool, they aren't, sorry Kevin.The reason for this post: While driving to Jen's place I was aggressively pushed on to the right hand side of the road (that's the wrong side of the road if you are wondering) on a right-angle corner by a black BMW. If you are reading this, screw you. I proceeded to do what every man would: I hooted the crap out of my hooter. It gives me satisfaction to do this. I thought I had made my point. I hooted until I couldn't here myself think. We both took the corner following another car in front of us. The three of us are now so closely knit that I can see the ridiculous hairdo of the driver of the black BMW.Then it happened, to add salt in to the wound of a correct and safe driver, the Black BMW man flicked his stompie (cigarette butt) on to my windscreen in triumph of his idiotic and dangerous driving. Do these people think they are clever by placing other peoples lives in danger? I couldn't give a rats ass if someone like this crashes in to a wall (not in to other people) and hurts themselves. They deserve it. There are enough things in this world that can end a life, why would you want to make your driving another murder weapon.Take your flashy driving and BMW attitude and stick it wherever is most uncomfortable for you.This post in no way intends to brand EVERY SINGLE BMW driver an idiot, but do me a favour and help yourselves out a bit, drive like you want to live.