Relationships are choices

One of the major roadblocks that people put in their way when starting a side hustle or business is their relationships.

“My partner doesn’t agree with this business.”

“My husband doesn’t want me to work on the weekends.”

“My father/mother/friends think I should forget this idea.”

Or one of the most popular excuses: “People will laugh at me if I fail.”

Let me get straight to the point: You are using these people as excuses for your own fears.

Your fears are driving you away from the life you want and the side hustle that could change everything. The people who drag you down are pulling you away from your success and you tolerate them. You tolerate them. You enable them. You allow them to belittle you and your ambitions because they happen to be your family, your friends or some random person that you told your idea to. That is batshit crazy.

You can choose different friends. You get to choose your family, especially if they’re assholes. Especially if they’re dragging you down to their level and beating you with experience.

You can choose to stop engaging with your family if they are bad for you. It’s OK to admit they are bad for you. All across the world, there are people who have siblings, parents, friends and extended family who hurt them, disappoint them or damage them. You don’t have to be a part of that.

I have had some difficult relationships in my life; an uncle who turned out to be a child molester and drug addict. Friends who I thought were close to me but never really cared about me. A business partner who betrayed my trust and sold a business behind my back.

These are meant to be relationships that uplift you and make you a better person. They didn’t for me and that’s actually OK.

It’s OK to walk away from relationships that are bad or even ones that are just not good enough.

At one point very early on in my entrepreneurial career, I was 19 years old and at university studying journalism. I started an online student publication with two friends. We slaved away building the site called StudentWire. It was a news aggregator for student news and after about 10 months of building this business, gaining traction and doing the hard work to get it live and get ten university campuses to provide us with weekly news stories I realised that my two business partners wanted the business to be a non-profit.

At university, there is always this undertone of saving the world and doing good and this message is often mixed up with anti-capitalism rhetoric that suggests that you cannot do good and make money. I believe you can do good and make money. We were at an impasse. We had fundamentally different ideals and there was really no way around it. I took the lead and decided that I believed the business could go all the way if we made if a for-profit entity. I stood my ground and took over the business from the two partners who were willing to give up their equity for their ideals.

That’s completely acceptable. That’s how things go. You sit down, you have a conversation and you decide if you stay together or move on. In truth, I don’t think our relationships were every the same but that’s also OK. I made a decision based on my world view and I stood by it. Not every partnership is going to work out. Not every friendship remains and not every person in your life is meant to be there forever.

You only have a finite amount of time each day, week, month, year to engage with other humans. You get to decide if you engage with humans that make you better or make you worse.

I choose to surround myself with friends who are the best people I know. They make me better, they support my side hustles, they push me every day to be a better version of myself and they hold me accountable.

Sure, sometimes we get smashed and have a party. Sometimes we talk about nothing and send each other random memes but these are people who I want to be more like and who will help me at the drop of hat and ask for nothing in return.

Everyone deserves this kind of person in their life. If you even have to second guess your relationships then it’s time to really analyse that relationship and decide if it’s more effort to stay in it than to get out. Is it better for you to be involved with these people or to walk away? Do they want the best for you and are they actively trying to help you get there?

Believe it or not, you get to choose. You get to decide who you spend time with. You are not obligated to see people just because they’ve always been around or you share some DNA.

To start a business, a side hustle, a new career or job you need the best people in your corner and if you don’t have them then your task becomes orders of magnitude more difficult.

Find the best people and get close to them.

You don't have to suffer in silence with relationships that are bad for you. Not in life. Not in business. --------------------------------------------------...

Entrepreneur Success Stories: 51 Businesses That Started as Side Hustles

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Ever wondered if you are hated?

I have. I often wonder how many people I truly piss off on a daily basis. I am pretty sure the number is high.Controversy has never scared me off and probably never will. Being a loud, outspoken and a calculating kind of person I don't imagine that I win over many people on my first try - or even the second.But then again, who cares? I recently decided that I am probably pretty disliked on the blogoshpere and in "real life" without even knowing it. I cause alot of kak and that is definitely not helped by some of the bloggers that I am friends with.Now I know that there are some people who will comment on this post that I am trying to win over favour and get people to tell me how much they like me. I'm not. I don't really mind if you do dislike me.I'm just asking a simple question: Have you ever wondered if you are hated?I have.

Monogamy is insane... Lets Do it

I come from what is termed as a "broken home".

My home is not broken. I have a father and mother who both love me. They are the perfect example of what monogamy does to good people.

It splits them, seperates them, confuses them and destroyes them (for a while).

So why do we do it? When I say “we” I refer to the human race, influenced by society.

That right there is the key; humans influenced by society. I think that it is absolutely insane to be with one person for 50+ years. Mind numbingly scary.

I had dinner with my Dad tonight. His girlfriend was there.

Girlfriend: At my age I think that we [my Dad and her] are married.

Dad: *confused look*

Nic: *more confused look*

Girlfriend: What's the difference between having a husband or a boyfriend at my age?

Nic: Nothing.

Dad: *confused look* Nothing.

And a very good point she makes. Monogamy should equal commitment. But at different ages monogamy and commitment mean very different things. At 22 Commitment is sort of: "Lets do this and see how far we take it", at 26 it's kind of: "We're still doing this, what does it mean?", at 33 it becomes: "OH FUCK!! We're still doing this my mom thinks we should get married."

What happens? Where does it go from lets screw around a bit to lets get married? This concerns me.

I personaly believe in evolution and survival of the fittest. I believe that men and women are meant to procreate, not necessarily with the same person forever. I think that one needs to stay monogamous while in a "committed relationship", but when that one has served its course be realistic and move on. Don't stay together for the kids. Marriage is a man made concept that is implimented by a religion which is also a man made concept.

Marriage is great if you can get out of it quickly and easily when you feel the need. I am not saying book out at the first chance. I am saying that when all else fails, leave. Save yourself and everyone, i mean everyone, around you the trauma of a reckless and messy divorce.

Divorce, ah, now there's a little ripper. There is only divorce because there is marriage. Not so? Divorce is put in place to make leaving a marriage difficult. On one side that is a great thing, you stay and try to work things out cause it is too much admin and paper work to leave. On the other hand, divorce and the stigma attached to it binds people unhappily in to a marriage.I will get married. Hopefully to someone that I feel is the one. Hopefully to the girl I'm with right now. But those are just hopes. I have said this before, Love is not enough to keep a relationship going. Love is a movie myth that fucks with your mind. I believe in Love strongly but I believe in makig it work, in compromise in giving, taking and talking. I believe that if you find a person who shares these views with you, that you will be happy for as long as your love allows, not for ever, but for as close to it as possible.

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