Nothing is Decided For You

When I was seven years old I decided that I wanted to be a war correspondent.

That idea stuck in my head for more than a decade. It stuck with me even when my father and uncle berated me because I would be poor (journalists don’t make a lot of money). It stuck with me even though I barely qualified to go to university to study journalism. It stuck with me all the way up until I started studying journalism.

At some point, while studying journalism I realised that I didn’t want to be a war correspondent any more. I completed my undergraduate degree in journalism and bolted out of the small town as soon as I could. I tried half-heartedly to follow the path set out before me but my heart just wasn’t in it.

It’s a funny thing having a dream and then watching it, letting it, fade away.

I have watched people with lofty dreams, insane goals and wild ambitions achieve the things they set out to do. I have watched as their dreams are realised and turn into nightmares. What the hell do you do at the age of 19 when your dreams have been realised? I have watched as their success destroyed them. I have watched as it dawned on them that money does not make you happy (it makes it easier to find happiness, but that’s a different newsletter).

Conversely, I have watched people dream of something and never realise it. I have watched as they shift their lives to try and accommodate a goal that will never be achieved. I have watched people turn into depressing mush because they believe they are mediocre and always will be. These people refuse to admit that their dreams are passed and that it’s OK to find new dreams, aspire to new things and want a different life.

These people don’t realise that nothing is decided.

There is no predetermined path.

There is always, always, ALWAYS a choice.

You will never be younger than you are today and you have agency. You are allowed to change direction if you choose to do so.

A dish from ONA restaurant

There is a vegan restaurant in south-west France that has been awarded a Michelin Star. This is noteworthy for many reasons, the least of which is that very few vegan restaurants have been awarded a Michelin star.

Claire Vallée is the chef at ONA and the most noteworthy part of this story to me is that she holds a doctorate in archaeology. The 41-year-old chef is self-taught and became vegan after a trip to Thailand. At some point, she decided that her archaeology doctorate wasn’t for her. She took a summer job at a restaurant and 8 years later hadn’t left. She then trained as a pastry chef and on a trip to Thailand became vegan. The rest, as they say, is food in your stomach.

Did you dream of being a painter? Then paint.

Did you dream of being a writer? Then write.

Did you dream of being a guitarist? Then learn to play.

Did you want to be a dentist but your family wanted you to be a lawyer? Then go back to school.

Nothing is decided. There is no predetermined path. There is always a choice and you have the time to be whomever or whatever you always wanted to be. Sure, the choice may be difficult, it may cause pain in the short term, it may leave a wake of destruction behind it, but you still have a choice.