Exclusive interview with DoNotDateHim.co.za founder

Do Not Date Him has been making waves of late. I took it upon myself to not judge and instead get the information I wanted from the source. So I did just that and got in touch with the founder of the website, Yolandi van Rooyen (28).Here is the interview a nh.com exclusive:Do not date him is a very intriguing concept. Should guys be worried about this particular website?I do understand that most men feel very worried about the site. The main goal of the website is to make women aware of conmen as well as men that are physically,emotionally and sexually abusive. The idea is to be more pro active about these concerns in society and to help women to make more informed choices next time they start a relationship with a man.Why did you start the website?I've been in an physically and emotional abusive relationship myself and I wanted to prevent other women and their children to experience the same pain and suffering.The idea isn't yours, tell me a bit about how you set up the website, did you hire developers and designers or is it all your skill?I read about the American website Dontdatehimgirl in a magazine and I immediately thought that this could be very effective with South Africa's high domestic violence statistics. I did call in the help of developers and a designer and I also had to get a lawyer to help me setup the terms and conditions for the website.You aren't very shy, you were written about in the Saturday Star recently. Aren't you nervous of being outed as the founder?The Beeld published my name in their article and I have to say I did feel a bit nervous about everyone knowing that I am the founder but now that the cat is out of the bag I have accepted the fact. I am still very camera shy though.How are you going to prevent abuse of the your service? What is stopping any woman from gaining revenge through your site?I do moderate all the profiles myself and I am definately in the process of evolving the website into a community site where women will be able to get information and healing. Any user can report a page for any abuse or foul language and when I communicate with my users I encourage them to be responsible with their comments and posts.This site portrays men in a very bad light whether you like to admit it or not. Is this not just perpetuating the cycle?Yes it does make some men look bad, but I,allot of women and men feel that it is time to seperate the good men from the bad. For many years and generations this topic has been a taboo and that also didn't help to stop the cycle. If women can see a very dangerous man's profile on my website it can prevent her from entering a relationship whith this man and can possibly stop the cycle from jumping from one abusive relationship to another.Are you aware of any legal action taken by outed men against the original Don't Date Him Girl website?Yes, Don't Date Him Girl had two lawsuits in 2006 and they won both of them.Have you received any hate mail yet?Yes,What are your plans for the sites future?I am already in the process of evolving the website into a site for information, discussion and healing. There will be experts writing articles about issues that envolve women and the struggles they are facing on a daily basis. A legal expert will help women with issues concerning their rights and the correct procedures to follow. I am also excited to introduce a forum and a rating system.Do you have a Do Not Date Her in mind?The domain was bought on the 3rd of the September when the news of Donotdatehim broke. The site launched this week.Do you plan on making money off the site?Unfortunately I do still need funding to pay for the hosting monthly and to keep the website live.And finally, do you have anything you would like to add?I would like to invite all men to join the fight against women and child abuse. It is not going to help if we stay silent and action have to be taken to eliminate this evil in society.I'd like to thank Yolandi for being so transparent and getting involved online. I truly do hope that the site reaches its intended goal of protecting women and spreading the word against abuse.I have my reservations about the potential success of the site, prevention of abuse and proper use of the service but in the end only time and lawyers fees will be able to tell if the site succeeds or not.

Gender wars part 2... instigated by Michelle Atagana

What it is about women that allows them the ability to slate all men in one fell swoop? I don't get it. If a man so much as looks at a women with any sort of disdain he is charged with being a patriarchal chauvinist and shunned from society (bet he wont get laid for ages... what a typically male thing to say!!).Michelle posted on the issue to begin with on her post I believe in the man... I think. "The male species cannot be as shallow and as one minded as they present themselves, can they?" Imagine if a man blogged that women can't be as slutty and stupid as they present themselves, and Why aren't more women cooking and cleaning for their husbands like back in the good old days?I would be burnt at the stake, not so? So then what on Earth gives any women the right to make swooping statements like one of the comments to Michelle's post: Jen said, "Sorry to burst you bubble but that is all there is to men!," tsk tsk tsk Jen, there's that stupidity I was just speaking of. Maybe all women are as moronically ignorant as Jen presents herself. No. That's not right, but that is the luxury that women are allowed, to be able to say what they want about men because of historic imbalances.Well let me be the first to say that history is over. Much like the many black South Africans who never experienced apartheid charge the white man for their suffering. What suffering? You didn't live through apartheid, you have affirmative action, you are not suffering. In the same breathe, women who are able to blog in front of their own personal laptops at University have no room to complain about the ignorance of man, because in so doing, you are expressing your own ignorance.Some men are rapists, some men beat their wives, some men are shallow and some men are not. Some women spend thousands upon thousands of Rands every year on make up so that they look better and some women don't. Are you telling me that every women who buys make up is shallow. No. That's just not true. Hence, not all men who watch rugby, drink beer and play sports are shallow. Just because you, as a women, don't grasp the male love and understanding for and of sports, don't knock it. We don't criticize your shoe collection, we love it cause it's who you are.Let bygons be bygons, let men be men and women be women and everyone be human. Simple.

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