NIC HARALAMBOUS

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Socially Acceptable Behaviour

There are certain things that people do, that people know to do and not to do in public and in places of social interaction. However, there are certain people who forget about these social norms when they are intoxicated and make everyone else feel very awkward and leave the party area.I was at a mates annual house party (thanks bud, what a ripper!) minding my own business being all chilled out on a comfy chair with some close friends when El Doos (I shall name him) stumbles along and sits next to us. We are smoking the hubbling and meeting one another and I'm still chilled and not saying much as I am in a bit of a spaced place. Cool, I thought. Not so much:El Doos: I don't know you, introduce yourself. (I know the host, strange that HE doesn't know ME).Who asks you to introduce yourself to them? Don't you just introduce yourself in that case?Nic: -stands up- Hi, I'm Nic, nice to meet you bud.El Doos: -shakes hand-Nic: -sits down, spaces-Five minutes pass and I think I have ridden over this little social speed bump, apparently I was sorely mistaken.El Doos: OK, it's official, I've made up my mind, I hate you -looking at me-.Nic: -spaced-El Doos: Ja, look I'm just honest, so when I don't like you I'll tell you, so that's what I'm doing.Ok, now I need to interject here; This moron has just told a table of 10 people that he hates me. Someone tell me what the normal response to this would be. There is no such thing. So what followed led to awkwardness and us leaving the hubbly... Dammit. Nic: OK, that's perfect with me, but if you don't like me do me a favour and leave me the fuck alone. If you don't like me, stop talking to me, get up and walk off bud -not so spaced anymore-.El Doos: Why you getting so angry?Nic: Well you know, I love it when a strange guy that no one knows tells me that he hates me and then expects me to be his best mate. There are things called social norms, some of us don't like them, some of us hate them in fact, but in certain contexts you need to fucking use them or you put yourself and others in situations just like this little gem right here. Got me?We all (the nine other people at the table) stand up and walk off leaving El Doos to his own device. What a wanker.