It’s not your fault. It’s your choice

Almost everything in our life is simultaneously our choice alone and a choice we make that we have no control over.

Everything you have ever experienced influences the choices you make today. You are not an island. You have not been raised in isolation. You exist as part of a whole, an ecosystem that imparts influence upon you each day with every Instagram post you swipe, every advert you see and every article you read.

Once you come to terms with this (that you are influenced by your inputs), you can begin to understand and acknowledge that everything is a choice.

I often receive very angry responses to this concept. People hate this idea because choice gives you agency. Once you admit to having agency you have to admit that you are acting upon your environment and things are very rarely acting upon you.

This boils down to choice.

You make one or another choice constantly whether you notice yourself doing it or not.

This means that we choose our priorities. We choose what we focus on whether we like it or not. No one else forces us to do it, even if that’s what we believe and what we tell ourselves.

You choose your family and friends.

You choose your job.

You choose your partner.

You choose your path to work each day.

You choose to work overtime.

You choose to watch TV.

You choose to be unhealthy.

You choose to not exercise.

If you choose all of the above then you can also choose different versions of the above or entirely new scenarios that do not include the above. You can choose something different today, right now.

Your current level of happiness is a result of choices that you have made, are making and will make.

Happiness is an outcome of choices and perspective.

Whenever you believe that you do not have a choice what you are actually doing is avoiding the difficult choice.

There are always options. You just may not like them.

Of course, there are situations that you did not choose to be in (a child with abusive parents) but you can choose how you respond to the situations you are in. You can choose to be proactive or reactive. You can choose to be passive or active. You can choose to be a victim forever or to learn, evolve, forgive and move on.

There is always a choice, you just have to make one that moves you forward, not backward.