NIC HARALAMBOUS

View Original

Greek Mothers - Painfully Brilliant

Phone rings. GREEK MOTHER picks up the phone and answers:Greek Mother: Hello?Daughter: Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?Greek Mother: You're going out?Daughter: Yes.Greek Mother: With whom?Daughter: With a friend.Greek Mother: I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.Daughter: I didn't leave him. He left me!Greek Mother: You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.Daughter: I do not go out with anybody. Can I bri ng over the kids?Greek Mother: I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.Daughter: There are lots of things that you did and I don't.Greek Mother: What are you hinting at?Daughter: Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.Greek Mother: You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?Daughter: My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!Greek Mother: So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?Daughter: He's not a loser.Greek Mother: A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.Daughter: I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?Greek Mother: Poor children with such a mother.Daughter: Such a what?Greek Mother : With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.Daughter: ENOUGH !!!Greek Mother: Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!Daughter: Now you're worried about the loser?Greek Mother: Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him immediately.Daughter: Goodbye mother.Greek Mother: Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?Daughter: I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!Greek Mother: If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?Thank heavens my mother is not this bad. The us of "not this bad" is intended, she is still a Greek mother after all!