NIC HARALAMBOUS

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Delayed Babies

I was scheduled to leave the Port Elizabeth airport at about 17:10...We left at about18:30. Awesome. Its amazing, the plane actually got off the ground, thats not the amazing part. The amazing part is that every infant in the ENTIRE fucking country was on the same plane as mine. Not only did they delay our plane (I am guessing the babies had prior arrangements to uphold) but they sat next to me, on top of me, behind and in front of me.

I thought that planes of that size mostly carried like a couple hundred people, max. I WAS WRONG, there were about 2 gazillion babies on this plane and they all sat by me. No i digress, they did not sit, the cooed, and coochied and wailed and cried and yelled and messed and Holy Mother of anything good and gracious on this Earth. I wanted to actually kick the window in (I managed a window seat) and jump right out of that plane. But then i thought that i would be destroying the potentially fantastical lives that these infants might one day have. If they stopped yelling.

Speaking of the window seat; the joy of the window seat is that you get to lean your head on the window, or thereabouts and have a lekker little kip in the corner...Not so much. No sleep, baby, no cleanliness, baby, no nothing, baby. I am also one of those people who likes to exit the airplane while it is still moving. I do not like to hang around on planes for longer than need be, but i was trapped like a drowning rat smelling the end,..and it was baby poop.

But hey, I got off the plane, i got outside and i got home. Happy and snug in Jozi again.

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