Nicisms

I have not been properly treated or diagnosed by a doctor in years.

I have not received adequate or acceptable service or treatment by an accounting firm ever (I do have a great personal accountant who manages my personal tax issues).

I have had to deal with too many insanely priced lawyers and law firms far too often.

What pisses me off immensely is that many of the legacy professions that are held in high esteem are full of lies, obstructions and smoke and mirrors.

Let me start with accountants. In no world do I believe that paying R19 000 for a single meeting (that wasn’t even 1 hour long) is acceptable. R3900 as an hourly rate is absolutely ludicrous if you are not solving every problem I’ve asked you to. Also – sitting in a meeting DOES NOT qualify you as having done anything substantial. Furthermore, having 3 people in a meeting that are superfluous to the meeting DOES NOT constitute work on their behalf either. Racking up hours is thievery when not conducted effectively.

Lawyers – see above.

Then let me move on to Doctors. I have had a fair amount of illness in my time. I’ve broken bones, cracked clavicles, twisted ankles, passed kidney stones and worse. Most of the time I suffer through the pain because the doctor actually has no idea what the fuck is wrong with me. So they send me to get blood tests, x-rays, medication and all sorts of other treatments, that I pay for in the hope that something they do or say actually works. Then when it doesn’t I get left holding the bill and the pain/problem that was there to start with. Also – I want to know if my doctor was the guy who scraped through his degree with 55% or if he finished with a 98% average, ’cause if he finished with 45% unlearned, what I have probably falls in to that 45%.

Lets look at me and what would happen to me if I charged a client R3900 per hour, or R15 000 for my skills (if doctor read: treatments, tests, x-rays, etc etc) and then at the end of the project, hour, whatever I told them: Oh sorry, I don’t know what happened but I don’t have the product that you paid me for. Please can you pay the outstanding amount in 30 days or I’ll blacklist you.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? If I did that I would be named, shamed and booted out of my industry. In many of the lagacy professions out there it’s common practice to bill hours to a client to simply reach a target for the month. In my industry it’s cash on delivery. In many old professions if you have DR. MD. CA. or some other stupid two letter title you are respected. Not by me. If you diagnose me correctly consecutively then you’ve earned my respect. If you diagnose me correctly once, I count it as dumb luck.

I think that doctors should be held to the same standard as I am. If you don’t fix me, fuck your payment. If you fix me, I’ll pay you. Doctors should pay for scans, treatments and blood tests upfront, if they figure out what is wrong with me, then i’ll gladly pay them.

Today I went to a doctor who used a 5 year old machine to scan my kidney. He charged me R800 to scan my kidney, on an old machine, hooked up to a laptop. He’s probably paid off all of that equipment hundreds of times over. Unacceptable.

I’ve had it with the way people pretend to do things. I want results. I demand results because people demand them of me and I deliver. Jokers.

nharalambous@gmail.com